You may be a prospector IF....

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Remember that comedian Jeff Foxworthy, and his "You may be a redneck IF..." routine? :lol:

I was wanting to make something like that for prospectors; maybe we could liven up our club newsletters etc with the results. (I've got dibs on the PCSC newsletter! ;) ) Here is a bit of what I came up with, how about you folks?

You may be a prospector IF: you highgrade the bleu cheese dressing bowl, using your fork as a grizzly.

You may be a prospector IF: your heart skips a beat when the dentist says "Amalgam."

You may be a prospector IF: you are the only one in the car smiling as you go down a washboard road, thinking, "Bedrock with natural riffles!"

You may be a prospector IF: you pick up a stud locator to hang a picture for your wife, then hours later realize you have created a new target pinpointer in your garage, but forgot the picture.

Can you come up with any? :)


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You may be a prospector IF:

You watch the weather reports praying for disasterous 100 year floods in the local area.

You may be a prospector IF:

You restore classic Land Rovers and all the while think the grille would make a great grizzley that you can BBQ on after dark. (You may need to Google that one )


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You may be a prospector IF: Gold topics and links are values to you, while porno links from the spammers are overburden.

You may be a prospector IF: Your spouse finds you staring at the kitchen sponge, because the scrubby-side got you to thinking of miner's moss.

You may be a prospector IF: Iron-stained features in the landscape always catch your eye, even though you're in the suburbs and the iron stains are in a wooden fence from the nails. :lol:

These are good you guys! B) Keep 'em coming!


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Hi Goldmember,

Many years ago I wrote a few similar notes about a being a nugget hunter and checking if you are. Here is what I wrote;

# You walk outside only to find that a heavy layer of snow fell the night before and the first thing that crosses your mind is: oh great, more overburden to deal with.

# Someone calls you a "flake" and you take it as a compliment.

# You check the small rocks in your shoes after a hard day's hunt just to be sure you're not throwing away a nugget.

# You wash the mud off your 4wd and scope the mud for any gold specks.

# You go to bed completely exhausted after a totally miserable day of nugget hunting and the first thing that pops into your mind is, where you will try to hunt tomorrow.

# You start thinking of your food portions in terms of grams or grains.

# You feel half-dressed without your head-phones on.

# Your sure that one arm is longer than the other from carrying your metal detector.

# You give every gold colored rock in front of the neighborhood store a serious once over.

# You can find a tire patch kit, tweezers, small plastic vials instead of gloves in your glove compartment.

# You buy special magnifier containers to make your nuggets look bigger.

# You have more Arizona pinstriping than factory trim on the sides of your vehicle.

# You try to teach your dog to dig.

# You have more TOPO maps than magazines in your camper.

# You have a special rack on your ATV just for your detector.

# You start your conversations with your friends with "How did you do....."

# You have more batteries for your detectors than you do for your flashlights.

# You keep all your small plastic containers such as, aspirin, Tylenol, film, etc, just in case.

# You have more strange rocks than pretty rocks in your rock garden.

# You have one good pair of dress shoes and four pairs of hiking boots.

# You get more flats from cactus than from nails.



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  • Admin

Hello Guys,

Great to read about "Your a Prospector IF ..."

When I first met my girlfriend Dawn about 12 years ago I was doing a bunch of gold dredging. I took her out to Dinner one night in my old 85' Toyota 4x4. She opened the glove compartment to place her keys or something in there and had a very "puzzled look. :mellow: She later asked me if I was some type of drug dealer ... :huh: I had no clue what she was talking about until she mentioned my glove compartment was filled with small glass vials. She has no clue those were for gold flakes and fines, not drugs! :wacko:

Take care,

Rob Allison

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