DOC Posted March 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 I certainly recognize that this could be a life saving procedure, otherwise why in God's name would I voluntarily go through it. I went, had a nice nap and everything was fine I am happy to say.As everyone has said, there is literally nothing to it. I had taped a small message to my butt that said, "Please be gentle, I have hemorrhoids the size of small children." Well that got every one in the room laughing hysterically. The nice nurse said, I am going to be injecting the anesthesia to make you go to sleep. I said, wow, I feel i..... and that was all there was. Seems like about 10 seconds later I woke up, the nurse said hey, it's all over and everything is absolutely fine. It was actually about 25 minutes, but it was very very restful and when you awake it takes you maybe 5 minutes to be completely lucid, and about 15 minutes later after a few crackers and a sprite, they are telling you to get dressed.The preparation is absolutely the worst part. The actual procedure was a piece of cake. They actually gave me color pictures of my asshole. The preparation is just a real pain. I mean it's the drinking the stuff that tastes terrible and the constant going to the restroom, and then of course the no food except for jello and sprite, etc. You get so hungry.But as someone said, when it's all over and you know all is well, it's a relief.Colon cancer is one of the most curable of all cancers if caught in time while it is still in the colon wall and has not spread to the outside and invaded other organs. Then you are screwed. Thank the good Lord my wife's mother had one and they caught the cancer in the earliest stages. They cut it out. The doctor said it was in such an early stage that chemo was not necessary because it was so localized.So, do yourself and your family a favor, get yourself checked out.Thanks for all of your kind words, support encouragement and humor.Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grubstake Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Doc, glad everything went ok, Your begining write-up was funny as hell, I had to jump in on it, been there done that, in fact the wife went through one about two months ago. She's already had part of her colon removed, sooo its a very serious thing. Hang in there, Grubstake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Ron Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Yo, Doc, if you got'em post'em....... "They actually gave me color pictures of my asshole" Cheers, Unc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOC Posted March 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 You know something occurred to me that I find sort of funny. My post was titled, "Speaking of Assholes...." and this post has had 627 hits so far. That means one hell of a lot of people checked this post to see if I was talking about them! SEE, it just goes to prove that if your wife calls you an asshole enough times, you actually start to suspect she might be right! I will scan the pictures and post them, they are actually sort of interesting.Especially, where I have a diverticulum, (not uncommon in men my age, and it doesn't give me any problems. It's just a little pocket in the wall of the colon. The Doctor said if I eat nuts or popcorn it might give me trouble. Well NO, because I eat almonds absolutely every day, and I eat popcorn about three times a week, no problems. Also the doctor told me to take my normal cholesterol pills in the morning with a sip of water. One of them is a large white pills and you can actually see a piece of pill where it passed into the large intestine and has not dissolved yet for lack of water. There's also a picture of where the small intestine enters the large intestine, and even one of my enlarged prostate.Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOC Posted March 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 OK here's the pictures, if you are sqeamish don't look. Personally I find things like this interesting.Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vini Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 THanks for the invitation but personally I AINT LOOKIN UP YUR ASS DOC glad all went well I was told to get it done at 50 I got 2 years to go and am not looking forward to it one bit butt polyps can turn to cancer. I am an almond eater too I swear they give me energy just about like a small cup of coffee will.Sal Palmetto for the prostrate is good I take it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOC Posted March 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Well I wouldn't have thought to post them, but Ron said let's see them. But hey, I remember my first autopsy and I thought that was interesting too. Actually as long as the body was fresh and you could look at the procedure with a scientific eye, it was very educational.We had a medical examiner that was something of a character. He thought nothing of getting the supervising detective to help out. "Here, go weigh this guys heart."DocTHanks for the invitation but personally I AINT LOOKIN UP YUR ASS DOC glad all went well I was told to get it done at 50 I got 2 years to go and am not looking forward to it one bit butt polyps can turn to cancer. I am an almond eater too I swear they give me energy just about like a small cup of coffee will.Sal Palmetto for the prostrate is good I take it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whats4supper Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 I had to paint walls in morgue once, and couple of times in a funeral home. all these stiffs, some not so stinky, and some were the BOMB! The coroners don't stop ripping bodies while you paint, and a tablespoon of vicks only does so much. then there are all sorts of strange sounds, and parts- the parts just don't look like you'd think, and aren't the size you'd think either.You'd think coroners got paid better than painters, but that's usually not the case at all.I also took a backhoe and had to dig up graves- coffins w/body or parts. some came out fairly complete, and others, well they didn't. it was right then and there that my dad and brother decided the only way to go was cremation. Me. I don't much care either way- I'll be dead and won't be feeling anything. Let somebody else take out the trash for a change. what they do with it will be up to them. play a prank on the cop, or stick me in the attic, what me worry and why should I care? It be kind of nice to be able to plan the dying part though. For me, it'd have to be a firing squad, mexican style. I'd take everybody out for chow and a beer before hand, just to let them know there'd be no hard feelings. pay for my mistakes. there's a lot of them, why should anybody else bear my load anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronMike Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 I can certainly beleive it can damage your kidneys because it has devastated my asshole. As for the PSA tests, they draw blood. It's no big deal. And there are different kinds of prostate cancers and the aggressive ones can take you before your time.I'm doing this one time, and that's it. If everything is OK, and there are no polyps, this is the first and last time my ass will be invaded.DocDoc, has your wife ever got even for you carving up her plant in the dining room? Maybe you should keep her away from your DR. just to be safe...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grubstake Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 DOC, once a month, run a 12 gage bore brush through that thing, it will keep it kleen as a babys butt. Grubstake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Teixeira Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Yo, Doc, if you got'em post'em....... "They actually gave me color pictures of my asshole" Cheers, UncNow that's what I call a Kodak moment.Tony Teixeira Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shep Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Doc, you're very right; when you posted 'asshole', I had to see what I did now. . That being cleared ( it was another asshole (and no, didn't enlarge pics), did they find your GPS up there?Shep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grubstake Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Yeh good question Shep! DOC! Oh Doc! GPS? Grubstake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOC Posted April 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 If you are up there and find a GPS you better hope it has the exit recorded. so you can do a GOTO, and get out of there quick. I can tell you for a fact that about 4 hours nefore those pictures were taken there was a lot of flash flooding.DocYeh good question Shep! DOC! Oh Doc! GPS? Grubstake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grubstake Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Yeh, Flooding I'll bet, kind of like when the swer plant in El Portel over flowed, and guys were dredging in the Merced river at Bagby, and all these truds came floating by. Talk about some pissed off guys! Grubstake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gotgold Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Doc, Mine was re-tuned in January 2009 After looking at that gallon jug of "stuff" being mixed with H2O, I said.....how in the world can I consume it per the directions, and to much salt!?? Sooooo.....I hit the local pharmacy and bought two bottles of Magnesium Citrate, oral solution, 10 FL OZ ea. (cost $1.29 ea.) went through 1 and 1/2 bottles and I felt like a power jet on a Sea Doo I woke up twice during the procedure.....guess you can't keep some "assholes" down! Gary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maui Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 hey Doc, i just read your post and i could not stop laughing, tears and all. i feel for you so good luck with your asshole and the dr. from india. watch out because him being from india he may try to stick a computer chip up your ass. i know it's not funny but the way you tell the story is non stop laughing.thanks for a great laugh. take care. ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ridge Runner Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 I see it all now, We are all sitting around a camp fire after a day of nugget hunting.Now you would think the subject at hand would be all about gold but not in this case. If you said assholes you are right. I just hope it's tell only and it don't get to the show part of the story. If somebody calls us prospectors a bunch of assholes,don't get mad about it, just say yes we are and Doc has a picture to prove it. You know your the best bunch of assholes I've ever meet. Chuck Anders Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGTFDA Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 The problem is that scope been stuck up 100 A holes before you and they don't clean it as they should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ridge Runner Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 SGTFDA You could have gone all day without saying that. You know what that makes all of us now?? We are all assholes blood brothers. Chuck Anders Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob777 Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 Hey Doc, You better strap a intube to yourself for a few weeks to sit on...Over here at work if your test shows positive than you donnot have to take that minor operation...Seen some people after that minor operation hurting for about 1-2 weeks...I wonder what they want you to do when you reach 65. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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