beepinpete_WA Posted July 29, 2012 Report Share Posted July 29, 2012 A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.He puts the crocodile up on the barturns to the astonished patrons and says....."I'll make you a deal.I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place mymanhood inside.Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute"."Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unitunscathed.In return for witnessing this spectacle,each of you will buy me a drink".The crowd murmured their approval.The man stood up on the bar,dropped his trousers,and placed his Credentialsand related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.After a minute,the man grabbed a beerbottle and smacked the crocodile really,really hardon the top of its head.The croc opened his mouth and the man removed hisgenitals unscathed as promised.The crowd cheered,and the first of his freedrinks were delivered.The man stood up againand made another offer...."I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."A hush fell over the crowd.After a while,a hand went up in the back of the bar.A blonde woman timidlySpoke up.........."I'll try it - Just don'thit me so hardwith the beer bottle!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZNuggetBob Posted July 29, 2012 Report Share Posted July 29, 2012 Pete here is one that is popular in the U.S.Once a blonde went to get her hair cut, but she was wearing headphones.The stylist said, "You gotta take off your headphones or I cant cutyour hair!"The blonde said, "No! I can't! I'll just DIE without them!" So thestylist just sighed, and cut the ends of her hair until she fell asleep,the stylist said to herself, "I'll just take these off her to cut herhair. She won't notice." So the stylist did just that.After about 3 minutes, the blond fell out of the chair, dead. Thestylist said, "I wonder what could have possibly killed her?! Maybe it hadsomething to do with the headphones?" She took the blonde's headphonesand put them on her own head, just to see what was playing.The headphones were repeating, "Breath in, Breath out." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beepinpete_WA Posted July 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2012 hahahaha another blonde classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paratrooper Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 3 blondes walk into a building. DAMN, you would think that ONE of them would have seen it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rexb Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 A brunette, red-head and a blonde jumped out a burning skyscraper window, which was the slowest to hit the firemen's net below and why? Why the blonde gal of course, she got lost on her way down and just had to stop to ask for directions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beepinpete_WA Posted July 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any.''But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde.'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.'Yes,' said the blonde, 'I'll go home and get it.'She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'Annoyed, the blonde snatches the containerback and reads out loud from the container ... To apply, push up bottom. :P :P :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZNuggetBob Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 And the city P.D. scores another tire. AzNuggetBob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZNuggetBob Posted August 2, 2012 Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beepinpete_WA Posted August 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Thats a beauty Bob hahaha.Sometimes it takes a bit of gentle persuasion Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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