DOC Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 If we get tired of looking for gold, apparently most of us will still be able to find work thanks to Obama...Americans with no abilities Act. (Satire, I think.) Washington, DC - President Barack Obama and the Democrat controlled Congress are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Senator Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing." In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability. Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement warehouse stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%). Under AWNAA, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires. Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?" "As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember rightey tightey, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me," Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL), "As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goalie1 Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 doesnt suprise me much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronMike Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 OMG! LMAO! Good one Doc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enigmatic Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 Apparently California is the model of what the USA will become...God help us. Last time I checked they are on the verge of bankruptcy, the education system was one of the best in the nation and now it's a joke...they seem more concern about indoctrination than the three R's, illegal immigration has the State shelling out 5 billion a year for them, there in a serous drought, California Supreme Court has been asked to reverse Prop 8 in which the People decide that a marriage was between a man and a woman...Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve... And as for inability for a job skill it will be like the mortgage companies all over again giving out loans to people that cannot afford them...Yes; it is true it is Satire...Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) you can look it up under snoopes...But the way some people are thinking that would surprise me if something like this came out...what do you think is going to happen next? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkeye Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 Doc & Guido WHat a good read. Man it would almost be funny if it wasn't so close to being relality. I never heard one mention of cutting anything from the state budget that goes to support illegal immigration, just cuts from education, roads, police and fire and of course prisons. They try to get people worked up with cutting from these areas so they will go along with what they really want and that is tax increases. Well I'll cut my political ranting short as I see I wasn't politically correct enough on one of the other forums and the whole topic was deleted. Don't want that to happen here.Take care, Hawk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Ron Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 That would be funny if it were'nt so factual...Last week I had an armload of map packages to send out priority mail...When I arrived at the Wickenburg post office, I became #7 in line with three windows open...After 20 minutes, I still was #7 but the line had grown to 18 postal customers...The postal workers looked up at the huge and growing line....They immediately sprang into action--they closed one of the windows, so now there's only two open...I cling tenaciously to my proud #7 position where I was close enough to hear all the gossip shared by the older lady postal worker and one of her friends...Then, like a dam bursting loose the two elderly ladies competed their visit and I was thrust into position #6...Well, let me tell you, it took me a while to get used to the heady rush of advancement...The postal workers sensed that moving forward so rapidly was a shock to my system, so they slowed things down...After another 15 minutes, I finally made it to a clerk with 5 priority packages of maps...As she weighed the first one, she said, "Anything dangerous, flamable, perishable or poisonous or explosive?"...Now, I go to the P.O. every day and every day after they ask me the same question, I say, "Nope, just maps." These folks know me and they know about the map business...We talk about finding gold and what the maps are for all the time...Yet, every day they ask the same question....And this day was no different...After every single identical package went on the scale, she ask the same question, and I answered the same, "Nope, just maps!"Your United States Post Office: A Nice Place to Vist, A Great Place to Spend A Few Hours of Your Life every freaking Day!!!!!! Cheers, Yer Unc in a specific spot in the Dubyah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOC Posted March 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 Ron, that's hysterical to read, probably frustrating to live through.At our MAIN post office here in Las Vegas, I bring all of the packages, in on my cart, they are already weighed addressed and stamped with tracking I use Endicia.com to print my postage. I lay it on the desk say hi to the clerk and thank her and walk away. Smiling at all of the other people standing in line. Like you they know me, and they know what my business is and they also know everything is ready to go and they are very accomodating.I also have the best postman in the world. On Saturday's if he has a package for me that won't fit through the mail slot he calls me and lets me know, and I come and pick it up.DocThat would be funny if it were'nt so factual...Last week I had an armload of map packages to send out priority mail...When I arrived at the Wickenburg post office, I became #7 in line with three windows open...After 20 minutes, I still was #7 but the line had grown to 18 postal customers...The postal workers looked up at the huge and growing line....They immediately sprang into action--they closed one of the windows, so now there's only two open...I cling tenaciously to my proud #7 position where I was close enough to hear all the gossip shared by the older lady postal worker and one of her friends...Then, like a dam bursting loose the two elderly ladies competed their visit and I was thrust into position #6...Well, let me tell you, it took me a while to get used to the heady rush of advancement...The postal workers sensed that moving forward so rapidly was a shock to my system, so they slowed things down...After another 15 minutes, I finally made it to a clerk with 5 priority packages of maps...As she weighed the first one, she said, "Anything dangerous, flamable, perishable or poisonous or explosive?"...Now, I go to the P.O. every day and every day after they ask me the same question, I say, "Nope, just maps." These folks know me and they know about the map business...We talk about finding gold and what the maps are for all the time...Yet, every day they ask the same question....And this day was no different...After every single identical package went on the scale, she ask the same question, and I answered the same, "Nope, just maps!"Your United States Post Office: A Nice Place to Vist, A Great Place to Spend A Few Hours of Your Life every freaking Day!!!!!! Cheers, Yer Unc in a specific spot in the Dubyah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 UncRon that scenario sounds very familiar, are you sure you don't live in CO.? On top of waiting forever, they are increasing the postal rate so you can wait just as long if not longer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlakMagnet Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 I thought our semi-rural post office was the prototype for slow...the window clerks think it's cool to catchup on all the neighborhood news with each customer after the transactions are concluded. My favorite time to visit is having to pick up a package they have "stored" in the back.A snack to tide me over while they disappear to look for it seems to work out best.I have figured out that this way of doing things is catching too.New employees start out great - but in a few weekssure enough, they have caught the full-blown slowdown malady.It must be something in the water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Dorado Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 The President is the perfect roll model for the AWNAA. At my PO, the Postmaster is the epitome of an idiot that just kept getting promoted due to the lack of any notable skills other than being able to show up for work. Also we used to have clerk that could easily take care of twice as many customers as any other clerk. One day he was gone and I asked where he was...... They transferred him to some job in the "back". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZNuggetBob Posted March 7, 2009 Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 Yep I love our small town Post office, and when I heard they were going to build a new one to solve those waiting clear out the door problems I was elated. no more waiting in the parking lot for the line to thin down and the new one was going to have keyed boxes and get rid of those old combination boxes. But it was entertaining some times waiting in line to watch people trying to crack the combination on their p o boxes. Yes the new one has many upgrades, a fully paved parking lot and they didn't bother to reinstall the hitching posts for the horses either and the public digital scale works most the time so you don't have to wait in line. Of course there is no service on weekends, their closed. so if your pre-stamped parcel wont fit thru a 6x12x12" hole than your pretty much screwed until monday and as you can imagin the lines are long on mondays. I have to agree with you Ron on the speed at which they operate but from what I hear it has to do with their new low stress training. I guess their trying to cut down on the employees goin postal. Makes ya wonder what's goin on in back because it sure isnt happening out in front. When they closed that window you may have acccsuly witnessed an employee getting a new job discripion or rotation.. or it may have just been their lunch or break time. Take Care AznuggetBob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOC Posted March 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 Well being my postman is such an important part of my business, if he don't pick it up, I have very unhappy customers, I take care of him.At Christmas time he gets a rather sizeable token of my appreciation. I have his cell phone number and he has mine. Now don't get me wrong, he isn't a good postman because I take care of him, he was a good postman, and I started taking care of him to show my appreciation. It's amazing how a good postman becomes one who is a very loyal one as well, when you show him that he is very important to your business and you recognize that he goes the extra mile.I bring him cookies, bring him an iced coffee from time to time. Buy him a sandwich. They lady at the post office, I just so happened to notice sings at my church. Well one day when I went in to the post office I told her that I didn't realize that she belonged to the same church that I did, and that I heard her sing the Sunday before, and complimented her on her lovely voice. Well I have not had to wait in line since that day.I think sometimes people mirror the behavior they experience.Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZNuggetBob Posted March 7, 2009 Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 Doc I have to admit that the head postmaster at my post office was a great person to deal with but she wasn't always at the counter and it seemed like just when I would get a newbie broke in they would change em up. She just retired and Ive seen two come and go now guess Ive gota break in a new one. When I used to get mail delivered to my door many years ago in a different town, I used to give my mailman a christmast gift every year. He always went out of his way to take good care of my mail but that was back then. Take Care AzNuggetBob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOC Posted March 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 I'll tell you another much overlooked public servant and that is the trash men. I always take those guys out a cold drink in the summer when I see them coming, and now and again I hand them a $20 and tell them I appreciate the good job they do. All my neighbors can't understand why when the trash men have made their rounds, my empty cans are put neatly up by the side of my garage while all of their cans are still sitting in the street.We are only allowed two trash cans per residence. Let me tell you, some of the stuff I have put out for those guys to hall away would normally just stay there, they would refuse to take it, but not my guys. I almost think they would haul off a dead body if I put one out there.Take care!Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZNuggetBob Posted March 7, 2009 Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 Maybe in Las vegas, here they just charge extra. I think Im going to move to Vegas AzNuggetBob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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